Waiting Room
by ijustkeepswimming
Summary: What happens after Charlie gets shot. BIG SPOILERS so please don't read if you haven't watched the 2012 opener and don't want to find out what happens!
1. Chapter 1

_**SPOILER WARNING for the first episode of the 2012 season. Please don't read it if you don't want to know what happens. **__This story is my response to Charlie's exit storyline in _Home and Away_. It won't be an easy story, due to the subject matter but I hope you enjoy it, if that isn't a completely inappropriate word. I'm not following my usual pattern with this one and writing anything in advance. I will just write each chapter in response to each episode until this story concludes. Love IJKS xxx_

**Waiting Room**

**Chapter One**

All Charlie could see was colour. Reds, purples, blues and greys spun past her until she felt blind. She felt like she was flying. Everything was becoming out of control and yet she felt like she had some kind of direction. Then she stopped. Everything went white.

* * *

><p>Ruby arrived home with Brax and Casey. Today was the day that they were going to start their lives all over again. After all the problems of the last year, the four of them were going to be a family. They were going to live in the city together and be happy.<p>

Ruby's smile faded when she saw her mother, her sister, the most important person in her world, lying unconscious on the living room floor. Charlie was in uniform, having been ready for her final shift as Sergeant of Yabbie Creek Police Station. But now, she was just lying there, bleeding and lifeless on the floor.

* * *

><p>Still feeling oddly weightless, Charlie blinked several times. The white was even more blinding than the colours had been and she didn't feel quite in touch with her body. She turned around slowly, seeming to be a place absent of all substance. Until she saw her, looking beautiful and angelic, waiting to approach.<p>

* * *

><p>Ruby felt like her heart was going to explode as she hung back with Brax and Casey, praying that the paramedics would be able to save Charlie's life. She wept with boy joy and fear when the ambulance crew succeeded in restarting her mother's heartbeat. All at once, she regretted every bad moment they'd shared and longed for every good memory there was. Watching Charlie being stretchered to the ambulance outside, Ruby felt like she couldn't breathe.<p>

* * *

><p>"Where are we?" Charlie asked.<p>

Her voice sounded strange, almost like she was thinking rather than speaking aloud. She watched as the person she could only describe as an angel, approached her. If there were any footsteps, they couldn't be heard. It seemed like there was no floor and they were just suspended in the air.

"It has different names," the beautiful, dark haired girl said. "But it's a waiting room, really."

Charlie stared at her, uncomprehending. How had she got here? And how could she really be standing, face to face with Joey Collins, the love of her life?

"Charlie…" Joey said gently, catching hold of her hand.

Charlie looked down at their joined hands. The only part of her body that she could feel was connected to Joey. Everything else was just… absent.

"I don't understand," she said.

Joey nodded beneath them, through wisps of white. There most definitely wasn't a floor. Below, Charlie could see her body, lifeless and broken in the back of an ambulance while paramedics tried to keep her heart beating.

With her free hand, Charlie touched her chest but she felt empty, like she wasn't really there. She looked anxiously at Joey, feeling like she was trapped in some kind of dream.

"What's happening?" she asked,

* * *

><p>Ruby waited outside the room Charlie had been taken into at the hospital with Casey by her side. Brax sat further along, against the other wall. She couldn't read his expression. Nothing made sense in her mind.<p>

* * *

><p>"What's the last thing you remember?" Joey asked softly, keeping hold of Charlie's hand.<p>

Charlie swallowed. She couldn't get used to the strange sensations all around her. She was dizzy but secure, floating but grounded, broken but not in pain. Her entire experience was one of contradiction.

"I was getting ready for work," she replied, staring below her where Sid and his team were huddled round her body, trying to make it work again. "It was my last day. I was… But someone knocked and…"

She closed her eyes, picturing the moment she'd come face to face with Jake. There had been so much pain and then nothingness, then all the colour, followed by white where Joey had appeared. Everything felt too strange.

"Did I die?" she wondered.

"I'm afraid so," Joey said gently.

It wasn't the easiest thing to tell someone, no matter how much warning she had been given or how many rehearsals she had done.

Charlie continued to look down, not quite able to see herself. Her mouth hung open as she stared at Joey again.

"Why are we waiting?" she asked worriedly. "What for?"

Panic overwhelmed her at the thought that she might go to hell. But Joey's smile was reassuring.

"Again, it goes by different names," she said. "But I like to call it Heaven."

Charlie continued to stare at her.

"Why are you here?" she asked. "How…?"

* * *

><p>Ruby leapt up and threw herself into Leah's arms the moment she arrived at the hospital with Elijah. Everyone was so desperately worried about Charlie. Ruby wondered if her mother even knew how much people loved her. Sitting back down, Ruby's head began to spin as the name 'Jake' was mentioned. She saw Brax become livid and march out of the hospital, ignoring Casey, who begged him to stay.<p>

* * *

><p>"I'm dead too," Joey informed her.<p>

Charlie looked startled and then heartbroken.

"You died?" she whispered.

Joey nodded.

"June 2009," she explained. "I drowned."

Charlie wanted to sit down but she couldn't move her body. She just continued to stare and hold onto her.

"2009?" she said. "When you were away. I… Is that why…?"

"That's why I didn't come home," Joey revealed. "I couldn't. But I've been watching over you every day, Charlie. Not in a creepy way…"

She grinned, making Charlie laugh and remember exactly how they had fallen in love in the first place.

"I've been trying to keep you safe," Joey said. "I didn't want this time to be now. I didn't want you to have to see me again so soon."

Charlie felt tearful but nothing came. She continued to study Joey's perfect, beautiful face. She saw her soulful, earnest eyes and the shape of her soft mouth.

"I met your parents," Joey ventured. "They're eager to see you."

"When?" Charlie asked, bewildered.

"When the time's right," Joey replied.

"Are they happy?"

"Very happy."

"And you? Are you happy?"

"You can't not be when you're up here," Joey said. "Once you get used to it."

Charlie nodded and looked back down below her. Her body was travelling through the hospital as the doctors raced her towards surgery.

"If I'm dead, why are they doing all this?" she asked.

"Your heart's still beating," Joey explained. "They have to go with their own hope. But you died before you got to the hospital. There wasn't any oxygen getting to your brain."

Charlie nodded mutely. A lump ached in her throat as she gazed down at Ruby, waiting for news with Casey, Leah and Elijah.

"My poor Ruby," she said sadly. "Why did she have to find me?"

Joey moved and put her arm around her, catching hold of her hand again with her other one.

"I'm sorry," she said. "That's probably my fault."

Charlie looked startled and uncomprehending.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Joey gestured for them to sit on chair shaped air that had randomly appeared behind them. Everything felt so strange and yet nothing was very surprising. Charlie sat beside Joey, still holding onto her and keeping Ruby in her eye line below.

"You were meant to die a few months ago," Joey said softly and apologetically.

Charlie stared at her, startled and confused. Nothing in her head was making any sense at all.

"When you went out running and you got shot in the arm," Joey ventured.

Charlie nodded weakly. The memory of that day was etched in her memory.

"It was meant to be fatal," she confirmed. "Brax saved me."

Her eyes widened at the thought of her boyfriend. Why wasn't he in the waiting room with Ruby? Why wasn't he looking after her? What was so important that he wasn't hanging around to find out that she had died?

"I saved you," Joey said.

Her voice was different. Charlie sensed some indignation but nothing more than that. She certainly didn't sound angry.

"You saved me?" she asked.

"I begged to get you a second chance," Joey explained. "To make the right decisions."

"But I didn't?" Charlie asked.

"No," Joey said softly. "My heart's been breaking over you for such a long time, Charlie. I'm so sorry it had to turn out like this. For you. And for Ruby. And everyone else that loves you."

Charlie thought of Brax again. As if reading her mind, Joey nodded.

"Including Brax," she said.

Charlie continued to stare at her.

"I don't understand," she admitted.

* * *

><p>Ruby stared at Sid as if he was talking some kind of unknown, ancient language. He wasn't making any sense and no matter how many time he explained that it was only the machines keeping Charlie alive, Ruby remained adamant that she was breathing. If she was breathing and her heart was beating, then how could she not be saved? Why was he telling her that it was over and that there was nothing more they could do for her?<p>

* * *

><p>"I don't want to sit here and tell you all the things you've done wrong, Charlie," Joey admitted.<p>

They continued to look below them, where Ruby was weeping.

"It started when I cheated on you," Charlie said, her voice drained of emotion. "Then I tried to love Angelo but it didn't work. I couldn't get you out of my head and he was horrible to me. I could feel my dignity draining away and I refused to do anything about it. I let him dump me and make me feel like it was all my fault."

Joey nodded sadly, squeezing Charlie's hand gently.

"And then I fell for Brax and…"

She turned and looked deeply into Joey's eyes.

"He wasn't a mistake, Joey," she said. "He loves me."

"He does," Joey agreed. "But he still wasn't right for you. He's not… not the person you wanted him to be."

"What do you mean?"

"Look," Joey said.

Below them, the scene switched. Charlie was momentarily bereft that she could no longer see her daughter but something told her that it would all be okay again. Ruby would come back, even from this distance.

"He's trying to avenge my death," Charlie said, as she and Joey watched Brax attempt to run Jake off the road.

"That's why you never belonged together," Joey said softly, not wanting to sound judgemental.

Now wasn't the time for that.

"What do you mean?"

"His instinct should have been to stay at the hospital to wait for news of you, Charlie," Joey said. "He should be there, beside Ruby, comforting her and telling her that everything is going to be okay. But he's ruled by his blood lust. He's turning to violence."

She watched Charlie sigh.

"I genuinely believe he was telling you the truth when he said he wanted to change," she continued. "His heart was there and he was committed to moving away and starting a new life with you. But you can't change who a person is, right down deep inside. He's a violent criminal and he's capable of so much more than he ever confessed to you."

"Is that why I died?" Charlie asked. "Because I was with him?"

"It looked like things were going to be okay for a while," Joey said. "When you and Ruby were going to go to the city together and start again. But when you got back with him and told so many lies, especially about Liam's accident…"

Charlie swallowed the lump in her throat. Tears continued to sting but not fall.

"You didn't quite manage to steer your life the way you were meant to," Joey said gravely. "So I lost my battle and I couldn't save you. I'm sorry."

Charlie visibly deflated, sinking against Joey who held her close and kissed the top of her head, apologising again and again. This time, Charlie's tears began to flow.

They watched in silence as the police caught up with Jake and Brax and struggled to pull them apart. They watched them drive them both to the police station and sling them in separate cells.

"Can I please see Ruby again?" Charlie asked.

* * *

><p>Ruby climbed onto the hospital bed, careful of all the wires her mother was hooked up to. Sid had told her that they needed to think about turning the ventilator off and allowing Charlie to die with dignity. She wept, calling her 'Mummy' for the first time.<p>

* * *

><p>Charlie rubbed her eyes. Joey continued to hold her close.<p>

"That's the first time she's ever called me 'Mum'," Charlie said sadly. "I never knew that that's how she really saw me. I…"

She looked helplessly at the woman she still loved so much.

"Please can I talk to her?" she begged. "Please? Just one more time?"

"I'm sorry, Charlie, "Joey said gently. "I wish it was possible. But you're in a different world now. You can spend the rest of her life looking after her and over her, the way I have with you, but you can't communicate with her. You can't connect."

Charlie wept as hard as Ruby did, clutching Joey the way Ruby clung onto her lifeless form.

"How can it all just be over?" she asked.

Without any comforting words to share, Joey just continued to hold her close.

* * *

><p>It was a good, long while before Ruby emerged from Charlie's room. She immediately fell into Casey's arms and then Leah's. She was vaguely aware of Casey heading off to find Brax while Leah organised to take her home. Sid had told her that as an adult and Charlie's next of kin, it was up to her whether to turn the machines off or not. The decision was too big. She just couldn't make it on her own.<p>

* * *

><p>"Nobody wants to die, Charlie," Joey said softly.<p>

Her ex-girlfriend leaned heavily against her and allowed her to play with her hair.

"I certainly didn't," she added. "I was devastated when I realised it was too late for me and that I was never going to get the chance to be happy with you on earth."

Charlie gazed uncertainly at her.

"Would you have come back?" she wondered.

Joey nodded.

"I was already on my way home," she confessed. "As soon as I left you, I knew that I loved and missed you too much to stay away. So I did my minimum duty and tried to come home. But there was a storm and…"

She trailed off sadly.

"But I got to be near you, even if you didn't know about it," she said in a brighter tone. "And I got to be here for you when you arrived today. Normally it would have been your parents and I know they wanted to come. But I've spent a lot of time with them up here and they know how much I love you."

Charlie looked surprised.

"You still love me?" she asked. "Even after everything?"

"I can't say I've been thrilled with some of the choices you've made but yes, I still love you, Charlie," Joey confirmed. "I always will."

Charlie smiled, happy for the first time since she'd been blinded by all the colour. Feeling bold, she leant in and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

* * *

><p>Ruby wished she had never asked Casey to find Brax. In deep denial about the situation, he had been demanding second opinions and accusing her of giving up on Charlie. The last thing she ever wanted to do was give up on her mother. But she also didn't want to keep her heart beating if there was no hope. Charlie wouldn't have wanted that. She would have wanted her dignity. But just because turning the machines off was the right thing to do, it didn't mean it wasn't the most difficult decision she would ever have to make.<p>

* * *

><p>"Why is he behaving like that?" Charlie wondered.<p>

She and Joey were still close together, looking down on Charlie's living room, the same one in which she had died. Someone had cleared it up from what Charlie knew would have been treated as a crime scene. And her loved ones were crammed into the room, debating turning Charlie's ventilator off.

"He's in denial," Joey told her. "And there's probably a lot of guilt thrown in there too."

Charlie nodded. She felt bad for him, knowing how much he had loved her. Even Joey had confirmed that it was true. But things had gone rapidly wrong as soon as they'd got involved with each other. He had dragged into a world she hadn't belonged to and forced her to live on the wrong side of the law.

"What do we do now?" Charlie asked when Brax and Elijah left and the others decided to go to bed.

"What would you like to do?"

"Keep watch over Ruby," Charlie said.

"Then that's what we'll do," Joey decided.

The scene below them shifted to Ruby's room. Charlie wept in Joey's arms as she watched her daughter do the same in the embrace of her boyfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

_This one might (hopefully) be a bit teary…! Love, IJKS xxx_

**Chapter Two**

In some ways, it felt like no time had passed. And in others, Charlie felt like she had been resting in Joey's gentle embrace for eternity. They remained on their chairs, looking down on the world below them where at home, Ruby had cried herself into a fitful sleep in Casey's arms and Brax had kept guard over Charlie at the hospital.

"What happens now?" Charlie asked, as she watched her loved ones begin to stir.

She watched as Ruby cried in Leah's arms, preparing for a visit from Sid to discuss turning off the life support and Casey appeared at the hospital with Brax, only to be sent away again.

"Do you want to stay here or move on?" Joey asked.

"I don't want to leave Ruby," Charlie admitted. "She's going to turn the machines off today. I don't want her to be alone. I want to support her. Does that make any sense?"

Joey smiled sadly and nodded.

"It makes perfect sense," she said. "I wish there was some way that we could let her know that you're here and you're safe."

She sighed and put her arm around her.

* * *

><p>Ruby allowed Casey to hold her while Leah saw Sid out. He'd come round, as promised, to talk through turning Charlie's life support off. It had probably been the most difficult and heartbreaking conversation of her life. It still didn't seem real that Charlie, the person she loved most in the world, was really gone. Sid had maintained that Charlie had died back at the house, right on the floor of where they were sat now. But it was too hard to accept. She was breathing and her heart was beating. Ruby so longed for some sort of hope.<p>

* * *

><p>"How does all this work, Joey?" Charlie asked.<p>

Tears continued to fall as she watched Ruby get ready to go to the hospital, having requested to be there when the machines were switched off, not wanting Charlie to die alone.

"What do you mean?" Joey replied.

"Does everyone go through this?" Charlie asked. "All that colour and then this place? Does everyone come to this waiting room?"

"I think so," Joey said. "It's where I came."

"Did someone come to meet you?"

"My mother," Joey replied, with the ghost of a smile.

"And did you watch the world, like we are now?"

Joey nodded, surprised when a lump formed in her throat. She hadn't felt sad for such a long time now. Heaven was too good a place to dwell on the bad things. But out in the waiting room, they were somehow trapped between worlds. All she looked forward to was Charlie's first experience of pure happiness.

"I watched Brett find out," she revealed. "And I watched you for the longest time."

She smiled faintly, suddenly realising where her sorrow had suddenly come from. She empathised with Charlie for having to watch Ruby and Brax and the rest of her loved ones suffer. But it had been harder to watch such a lack of mourning over her own death. Brett had been sad and so had some of her former colleagues. But nobody else had even known to be sad. Nobody had noticed that she was missing, not even Charlie. Especially not Charlie.

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked, studying her face.

"Nothing," Joey replied, forcing it to be true.

Now wasn't about that. Now was getting Charlie through her death and into a place of joy.

"Have you met a lot of people here?" Charlie wondered, accepting her answer.

Joey smiled, gazing at her.

"No," she said. "You're my one and only."

* * *

><p>"I love you, Mum," Ruby said sadly as she sat by her mother's bedside.<p>

She held onto her and failed not to cry while Brax stood behind her, begging her not to go through with switching the machines off. Casey hovered in the doorway uncertainly. He could barely imagine the pain that his two most precious people must be in.

* * *

><p>Charlie wept from above and Joey held her as tightly as possible.<p>

"I wish I could tell her that I'm not there," Charlie said, her voice catching. "I wish I could let her know that I'm up here and I'm safe and that she's doing the right thing by letting me go."

She swallowed, her throat aching with sorrow as she listened to Brax try to convince Ruby that she was making a mistake.

"And I wish I could tell him too," Charlie continued. "I know that we weren't meant to be together, Joey, but I care for him. I love him. I can't help it. And I don't want him to be in pain."

Joey nodded, continuing to offer as much comfort as she could. Suddenly, Charlie turned to her.

"Is this too weird for you?" she asked worriedly.

"Weird?" Joey asked.

"To listen to your ex-girlfriend talk about her boyfriend?"

Joey smiled and kissed her temple.

"Up here, things like that just don't matter," she explained. "You learn pretty quickly that the presence of any kind of love can only be a good thing. I've watched you be with Angelo and with Brax and as much as I've wished to be the person you wanted to be with, I knew I'd get my time with you again one day, in whatever way we want that to be. I knew I'd never lose you because you don't lose the people you love best, Charlie. You may have to be apart for a while but you will always come back together in the end."

Charlie gazed at her.

"You've always been the person I wanted to be with," she said softly. "I just wish I hadn't been so stupid not to realise it in time. I wish I'd never made that awful, awful mistake."

Joey hugged her again.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Everything is okay now."

They turned their attention back to the scene below, just in time to see Brax lock himself in Charlie's hospital room and pull out a gun.

"What's he doing?" Charlie asked in panic.

* * *

><p>Brax was beside himself as he sat beside Charlie's bedside. He promised her that nobody was ever going to take her away from him and ignored everyone else that was banging on the door. He heard Ruby cry that that was her mother and he felt bad for separating them. But he couldn't bear to let her go. He couldn't let Ruby kill Charlie.<p>

* * *

><p>"But I'm already gone!" Charlie cried desperately, wishing that Brax could hear her.<p>

She broke down at the sight of both his and Ruby's devastation.

"She's doing the right thing!" she said. "I'm gone! I'm up here! I'm not in that body! I'm not breathing by myself! Let me go, Brax! Please? Let me go!"

Tears consumed her in deep, shuddering sobs until she sank onto the absent floor. Joey held back for a moment before coming to kneel beside her. She wrapped her arms around her and kissed the top of her head. Charlie curled up in her lap, resting against her and continuing to cry, not for herself but for the ones she loved. Joey stroked her hair soothingly, knowing that the hardest part of dying was having to say goodbye.

* * *

><p>Ruby waited desperately outside Charlie's room. She had already lost her but now she was missing out on her final moments. She hated Brax for making Charlie's tragic death all about him. She hated him for his violence and for the path of destruction he had led Charlie down. And she hated him for shutting her out and claiming Charlie as his own, as if he was the only person that felt like they were dying too because Charlie was gone.<p>

* * *

><p>Charlie jerked when she heard beeping. Looking below with Joey, she watched Brax panic over the machines. She had flatlined and her body could no longer breathe.<p>

"Open the door!" Charlie begged.

She looked desperately at Joey, asking if there was something they could do.

"I don't want Ruby to be in the hallway when I go!" Charlie said through her grief. "I want her to be there, holding my hand. Because that's what _she _wants, Joey. Please?"

Joey nodded and concentrated. Charlie watched her urgently. Below, Brax allowed Sid into the room to fix the machines. Then, as he left, Casey charged in to stop Brax holding up the room any longer.

* * *

><p>"I love her," Brax said desperately, his voice cracking with emotion.<p>

Casey was understanding but he knew he had to do everything he could to put this situation to an end. He reminded Brax that after everything he'd done and everything he was, Charlie had still always believed in him. He begged him not to let her faith be unfounded.

* * *

><p>"That was one of things I loved most about you over the last year," Joey mused.<p>

Still with her head in Joey's lap, Charlie looked up, confused.

"I might not have thought Brax was any good for you," Joey explained. "And I might have been horrified by all the things he's done and everything he's capable of. But I was touched by the way you always tried to see the best in him. It made me think about how you were with me. You were the first person who ever made me feel special."

Charlie reached up tenderly and stroked Joey's cheek with her thumb.

"You _are _special," she said sincerely. "I wish I'd had the chance to make you see that."

Joey smiled and kissed her hand.

"Maybe we'll get that chance now," she suggested.

Charlie nodded and sat up, brushing their lips together again. Like the world they were in, their relationship was undefinable. It didn't quite make sense and yet it did. Charlie wondered how long it would take to get used to a world of contradictions that made everything feel okay.

* * *

><p>Sid had stepped in and convinced Watson not to arrest Brax and take him into custody. Brax had then apologised to Ruby, who had asked him to be there when they switched the machines off.<p>

* * *

><p>Charlie and Joey watched from above as Ruby and Brax sat in the hospital room, close by Charlie's body. Charlie clung to Joey as she watched herself slip away. She watched Ruby and Brax break down and her heart broke for them both.<p>

"Is there no way I can comfort them?" she asked desperately.

"I'm sorry," Joey said softly, fighting her own tears. "I wish there could be another way."

"But you made Brax let Sid in," Charlie said. "And you made Casey sort everything out. Can't you…?"

"I can't create that kind of link between this world and that one," Joey tried to explain. "If any of us could then don't you think it would have happened all the time?"

Charlie nodded sadly. She gazed down at her own lifeless form and wished all her love on her daughter. She wished love on Brax as well. And she clung to Joey for all she was worth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Charlie had remained in the waiting room with Joey for what she assumed were days. But still everything continued like a dream, as if sitting outside the realm of time. They had watched Summer Bay and Charlie's loved ones below, especially Ruby.

Charlie had also been careful to keep a close eye on Brax who seemed intent on finding the answers to his troubles in the bottom of a bottle. Charlie almost felt sad to not miss him the way she had expected to and not even nearly as much as he seemed to miss her.

From her new perspective, even though she knew that she still loved him and would always care about him, she felt very differently now. Upon Charlie's urging, Joey had reluctantly revealed his involvement in several crimes that he had never admitted to, including running an illegal drugs operation and helping his brother, Heath to cover up the attack that had left Angelo in hospital earlier in the year.

Back on earth, Charlie had been so committed to Brax and believed that he was the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. But now, she saw him as a different man. He was more of a criminal than she had let herself accept before. Although she did believe he had been in the process of changing, it was too late now. And his actions at the hospital and his lack of support for Ruby broke her heart.

"I can't believe it's my funeral today," Charlie admitted.

She was floating on the floor with Joey in comfortable silence. They held hands at every opportunity and had kissed and held each other often. In some ways, it felt like the most romantic thing in the world. And yet, Charlie knew with clarity that it was more than that. Joey's love was the gentlest, most sincere thing she had ever experienced. She made her feel safe in a way that she had never known before, not even when they had been together on earth, although it had been close.

"How do you feel about it?" Joey asked softly.

"I don't care that much about how it goes or who says what about me," Charlie admitted. "I just want to be down there, looking after my baby girl."

Joey nodded, wishing with her whole heart that she could provide.

"When my parents died, I was longing to be near them again," Joey ventured. "And right before we went to the church, I stopped and had this feeling, deep in my heart. I felt like they were there with me. Then when I came up here and my mother took me into Heaven, she and my Dad told me that they'd been sitting right here at that moment. They'd closed their eyes and pictured themselves with me. And that's what I felt."

Charlie gazed at her.

"Do you want to try that?" Joey asked.

Charlie nodded hopefully. Sitting opposite each other, they held hands and closed their eyes, concentrating on Charlie's daughter below.

* * *

><p>"Are you okay, Ruby?" Leah asked worriedly when the teenager looked suddenly stricken.<p>

She cursed herself for asking such a stupid question. They were burying her mother today. Of course she wasn't okay.

"I just had the weirdest feeling," Ruby said, lost in thought.

"Feeling?"

"Like… like Charlie was here," Ruby explained, hoping she didn't sound stupid.

Her heart beat like crazy as she tried to make sense of her experience.

"What do you mean?" Leah wondered.

"Just like… like she was reaching out to me or something."

Leah smiled sadly and pulled her into her arms.

* * *

><p>Charlie cried and fell against Joey, who held her close and stroked her hair.<p>

"She felt me!" Charlie said, curling up against the woman she loved. "She felt me!"

She sat up a little and gazed into Joey's eyes, wondering why she hadn't told her that they could do that before.

"Because you can only do it once," Joey revealed. "And I wanted you to be able to do it when it counted."

They looked down and watched Leah inform Ruby that the hearse had arrived. They saw Ruby look stronger than she had since Charlie's death.

"Thank you," Charlie said softly. "Thank you for being here. And for knowing exactly the right thing to do and the right time for it."

* * *

><p>With a herd of uniformed police officers behind her, Ruby followed the hearse on foot. She tried to keep her brave face on as she got closer to the church where she would have to say a final goodbye to her mother. Having died when she was still a serving and active police officer, Charlie had been given a traditional, respectable and earnest goodbye. The whole local police force had turned out and her coffin had been draped with a flag, her police hat and a photograph of her in uniform. The church was packed with people whose lives Charlie might never have known she had touched.<p>

* * *

><p>"Wow," Joey commented. "This is some goodbye."<p>

"I wasn't expecting all of this," Charlie admitted. "I'd resigned from the force. I did all those bad things. I…"

She trailed off when Joey squeezed her hand.

"You made mistakes," Charlie's angel said. "But you were a good police officer. You tried your best. You deserve this kind of goodbye."

"What was your funeral like, Joey?"

Joey chewed her lip anxiously.

"I didn't really have one," she admitted quietly. "Just my brother was there. The service lasted a couple of minutes, they cremated me and Brett scattered my ashes on the sea like I wanted."

Charlie burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there, Joey," she said earnestly. "I'm so sorry. If I'd have only known…"

"You couldn't help it if Brett didn't tell you," Joey reassured her. "It wasn't your fault."

"Well, yes it was," Charlie said unhappily. "If I hadn't broken your heart then you never would have died. If I…"

Joey placed her index finger on Charlie's lips.

"You don't know that," she said. "And you'll learn up here that everything happens for a reason, even the bad things. _Especially _the bad things. Who's to say that if I'd have stayed with you, I wouldn't have died anyway? And then I would have spent the last two and a half years watching you grieve instead of trying to live your life."

Charlie nodded sadly and looked back down below where the mourners were stalling for time due to Brax's absence from the church.

"I was grieving," she said softly. "I just didn't know exactly what for."

Joey managed a smile and slipped an arm around her. She kissed her cheek and they rested their heads together as the service began.

* * *

><p>"Poor Watson," Charlie said sadly.<p>

Her friend had led the procession to the church and now sat in one of the pews looking particularly tearful.

"She thinks so much of you, Charlie," Joey informed her.

"How do you know?" Charlie wondered.

Joey just smiled and told her that Heaven provided people with a much broader overview than the earth did.

"She really thinks a lot of me?" she asked, hope evident in her voice.

"She once confided in her friends that if she could be like anyone in the world then it would be you," Joey revealed. "She thinks you're the smartest, most honest and beautiful woman in the world."

Charlie sighed.

"I really let her down, didn't I?" she said. "I could have got her in so much trouble with the evidence stealing and everything."

"You could have," Joey agreed. "But you didn't."

She smiled affectionately at her. Charlie leant closer and kissed her softly on the lips. She had never thought she'd get the chance to do that again and now, she was keen to take advantage of every opportunity.

* * *

><p>In the church, Morag just about managed to keep control of her sensibilities as she delivered a speech about Charlie. She wanted everyone to know that her step-daughter was a good person and had always had an honest heart. Morag may not have agreed with some of her decisions and their relationship had been somewhat damaged by her absence from Ross's life at the end. But she loved her and was proud of her and knew that her late husband would feel exactly the same.<p>

* * *

><p>Charlie wiped her eyes as she watched Morag step down and Leah step up. She had been struck by her words and wondered if she really meant them.<p>

"She means them," Joey confirmed, even though Charlie hadn't actually spoken.

Charlie looked alarmed.

"Are you psychic or something?" she asked worriedly.

Joey chuckled and shook her head.

"Just connected to you in a very specific way," she said. "And if I wasn't, then I wouldn't be here now. They don't let just anybody come and help a soul transition."

Charlie gazed at her. She had so many questions to ask but she didn't want to rush them. All she had was time now. She had an expanse of forever to find out any truths that she wanted.

"Do you think Dad would really be proud of me?" she asked.

"He is," Joey confirmed. "He and your Mum can't wait to see you."

Charlie gazed at her, absorbing her words.

"Where are they going?" she asked when she looked down and saw Bianca, followed by Liam leaving the church.

She winced in emotional pain at the sight of a woman who had become her best friend. Yet one more regret to add to her hopefully now dormant list was that she had died before Bianca had been able to forgive her.

"They're going to find Brax," Joey told her.

* * *

><p>Brax sat at a table, drinking his weight in alcohol. His mind and body were all slurred and slow to react as he tried to down his sorrows. He wondered what part of the funeral would be taking place now. What would people have said about Charlie? Would they have meant it? And how dare anyone presume to know her better than he did?<p>

* * *

><p>"He's a mess," Charlie said sadly.<p>

Joey nodded, keeping close to her. She wished that Brax had been the person Charlie had believed him to be. She wished she hadn't had to show her the ugly truth about his selfishness, violence and lies. Biases aside, Joey had always wanted Charlie to be happy, even if it wasn't with her. She'd had no time for Angelo and considered him to be a bullying waste of space who'd subtly managed to control the woman he supposedly loved. She knew that he was now doing the same in his new home with Nicole. And for all his wrongdoings, Brax had genuinely loved Charlie and wanted to change for her. Joey was sad that it wasn't enough.

"I wish he could handle this," Charlie added. "I wish he could cope like a normal person. I mean, I know grief can do all sorts of things to people but the only person he should be angry with is Jake. He's the one who shot me."

They watched with some discomfort as Brax laid into Bianca, prompting her to flee the restaurant as quickly as she had arrived.

"I don't think he's really angry with her," Joey ventured. "I think he's angry with himself."

"Because of his reaction to turning the life support off?" Charlie asked.

"Because if it hadn't been for him and his actions, you would never have gone down the path you did," Joey explained as gently as possible. "And if you hadn't done that, none of us would be here, right now, in this moment."

Charlie sighed and nodded. She wasn't sure how she felt about Brax now. On the one hand, she couldn't turn off her feelings. But on the other, she now knew that real love ran so much deeper than anything she had experienced with anyone on earth, including with him. She was disappointed by his lack of honesty, for letting her make the decisions she did to be with him without letting her in on the full picture. And she was even more disappointed in his lack of support for Ruby.

* * *

><p>Having returned to the church, Charlie hadn't been able to stop herself from breaking down over Ruby's eulogy. She'd winced several times at the description of Brax meaning so much to her.<p>

"It wasn't him," she realised.

Joey looked confused.

"It wasn't him that made me embrace my true self," Charlie told her. "It was you."

Joey smiled kindly at her.

"You don't have to say that," she said. "I know you weren't exactly thrilled to fall in love with me."

"But I was," Charlie protested. "I know I had an awful way of showing it and it was too little, too late and in the wrong direction but you were the one who opened my heart, Joey. Half the reason I tried so hard to make it work with Angelo and Brax was because I'd failed so terribly with you. I felt like if I couldn't succeed with a person that I loved so completely, then I had to do whatever it took to succeed with someone else."

She sighed and held up her hands in defeat.

"That probably doesn't make any sense," she said glumly. "But it did in my head at the time. Really, I should have put all my energy into finding you, even if it was only to be at your funeral and show you some respect."

She closed her eyes, not wanting to cry again. Joey kissed her and allowed her to settle into her embrace. They listened to the rest of the eulogy in silence.

* * *

><p>It was probably the end of a very long day and Charlie was exhausted. She'd watched and listened in sheer horror as Brax showed up at the wake, drunk and abusive, snapping at Bianca and laying all the blame on poor Ruby's door. Ruby had given him a piece of her mind and then run to her room in tears, where Charlie and Joey had looked over her in anguish.<p>

"He really wasn't the person I thought he was," Charlie acknowledged.

The mourners had left and Elijah had helped Leah clear up. Morag and Casey were still around and Ruby was packing her things, determined to move to the city for a fresh new start, the new start she and Charlie had been meant to have only the week before.

"I'm sorry," Joey said sincerely.

"How could he treat her like that?" Charlie wondered. "He must know that she hasn't done anything wrong. I mean, we had our moments but I love her so much, Joey."

"I know," Joey said softly, keeping hold of her hand.

"How could he say those things?"

She watched as Ruby sat down at the dining table with Casey where he broke the news that he wasn't moving with her. He felt obliged to stay in Summer Bay with Brax and try to help him through his grief.

"My little girl is all grown up," Charlie realised, a little startled.

She'd had a vague awareness of her daughter's increasing maturity but this was something else. The benefits of distance helped her to see things in broader terms. If her baby girl could hold herself together with such dignity at such a difficult time, then Charlie had no concerns for her future.

"Yeah," Joey agreed. "I think she is."

"I wish I could tell her how proud I am of her," Charlie said sadly.

Joey nodded, feeling the same.

"Or even just let her know that I'm okay, that I'm safe and happy up here."

"Are you happy?" Joey asked.

Charlie gazed at her and nodded.

"People spend their lives wondering what's up here and where they're going to go when they die," she said. "This is better than I could even have imagined and I'm not even there properly yet. I'm still in the waiting room. But getting to be here with you, it's amazing."

She paused, consumed by her own thoughts.

"I feel so sad for the people I've left behind because I know how hard it is to be the one that's lost someone," she continued. "But I'm so peaceful at last. I don't feel scared of anything. Nothing feels like it'll be too difficult. I'm just happy and peaceful. I'm at rest. With you."

They kissed softly. Charlie closed her eyes, enjoying the gently pressure of Joey's lips against hers.

"Hey, all those fundamentalists were wrong, hey?" she grinned. "Gays do go to Heaven!"

Joey laughed and nodded.

"They all get big shocks when they get here and realise how many people got through," she said. "And they're even more shocked when they're accepted and loved, regardless of how they might have treated people on earth."

Charlie reached out and hugged her. She looked down one more time, as Ruby zipped her suitcase shut.

"I think I'm ready," she said.

"To leave here?" Joey checked.

Charlie nodded. She looked up as a large door appeared behind them, white and non-descript but very much there.

"Is that for us?" she asked.

"If you're ready," Joey replied.

Charlie nodded. She looked down as Ruby stood in her room, trying to gather herself together as she prepared to leave town with Morag. Deciding it was worth the risk, Joey closed her eyes, concentrating on providing one last gift.

* * *

><p>Ruby jumped when a book fell off her bookcase. Leah had let her keep a few things still at the house while she got herself settled in the city. Crossing the room, she picked up the poetry book she'd studied for her exams only a few weeks ago. It had opened to a page covered in notes. But the poem, by Mary E. Frye was crystal clear on the page.<p>

_Do not stand at my grave and weep._

_I am not there. I do not sleep._

_I am a thousand winds that blow._

_I am the diamond glints on snow._

_I am the sunlight on ripened grain._

_I am the gentle, autumn rain._

_When you awaken in the morning's hush,_

_I am the swift, uplifting rush_

_Of quiet birds in circled flight._

_I am the soft stars that shine at night._

_Do not stand at my grave and cry._

_I am not there. I did not die._

Ruby sank onto the floor in tears.

"I love you, Mum," she whispered.

* * *

><p>Standing in the waiting room, ready to leave, Charlie clutched Joey's hand.<p>

"I love you too, Ruby," she whispered back. "More than I could ever have told you."

She turned back to Joey and held her. She stroked her hair and kissed the same shoulder her tears fell onto.

"I love you too, Joey," she said. "Thank you. Thank you loving me enough to wait for me."

"It's an honour," Joey replied. "There's nowhere in any world that I would ever want to be than with you."

* * *

><p><em>That was the final chapter of this particular story. I hope you have enjoyed it. Long live CJ Love! IJKS xxx<em>


End file.
